Introduction to the KARAOKE MACHINE
by Crazy Muffin
Summary: They've been introduced to the Ice Cream Sandwich but now it's time for the KARAOKE MACHINE!!Be afraid...be very afraid...but still HILARIOUS!!PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. (I re-uploaded this fic with a few changes ;) )


Ari: MORE TORTURE!!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: How could you torture us more?  
  
Sango: You already did the Ice Cream Sandwich  
  
Ari: Oh, but I'm not done with you yet.  
  
Kagome: Yet?  
  
Ari: NOW YOU ARE INTRODUCED TO A KARAOKE MACHINE!!!  
  
Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Ari: YES!  
  
Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ari: Before I torture them just know that I do not own the Inu Yasha cast or any of the songs used in this fic. I DO own some terrifyingly cute puchuus but that's none of your business.  
INU YASHA ATTEMPT ONE:  
  
Inu Yasha walks up to the machine and stares at it for a while. He pokes it. He pokes it again. He picks up the microphone and starts to sing.  
  
Inu Yasha: I'M DOING THIS TONIGHT YOUR PROBABLY GONNA START A FIGHT I KNOW THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT HEY BABY C'MON!!!!I LOVED YOU ENDLESSLY THOUGHT YOU WERE MEANT FOR ME BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO LEAVE AND MAKE IT ALONE! Everyone stares at Inu Yasha in utter shock I KNOW I JUST CAN'T TAKE NO MORE. IT AIN'T LIE I WANNA SEE YOU OUT THAT DOOR BABY BYE BYE BYE!!!!By now everyone is either passed out in shock or laughing hysterically Inu Yasha starts dancing badly DON'T REALLY WANT TO MAKE IT TOUGHT.  
  
Kagome: I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!! She runs into the room and destroys the machine with a hammer.  
  
Inu Yasha: I LIKED THAT SONG!!!  
  
Kagome death stare  
  
Inu Yasha: shutting up.  
  
INU YASHA ATTEMPT TWO:  
  
This time it seems he knows what to sing so he picks up the microphone  
  
Inu Yasha: while staring at Kikyo CRAWL ON ME SINK INTO ME DIE FOR ME LIVING DEAD GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kikyo: ~twitch~ INBUCILE!!!! She runs into the room and destroys the machine  
  
Sango: Well there.that's another thing that Kikyo and Kagome have in common. THEY CAN'T STAND INU YASHA'S SINGING!  
  
Kagome: Who can?  
  
Inu Yasha: Oh yeah? Well let's just see you do better!  
  
Kagome: ~sticks out tongue~ FINE!  
KAGOME ATTEMPT ONE:  
  
Kagome stubbornly grabs the microphone and starts to sing  
  
Kagome: staring directly at Inu Yasha WHO LET THE DOGS OUT???WHO WHO WHO WHO! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!!! WHO WHO WHO!!!! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!!!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: ~twitch twitch~ I'M NOT A DOG!!  
  
Kagome: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: now in fetal position sucking thumb.think happy thoughts.think happy thoughts..  
  
Seshomaru: That's ok pats him on shoulder Good puppy! Go fetch!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: jumps up and starts chasing after Seshomaru DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!!  
  
Seshomaru: running EEP!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: now swinging the Tetssuiga recklessly at "fluffy" DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!  
  
Kagome: who has now stopped singing this happens often doesn't it?  
  
Shippo: Welcome to Sibling Rivalry.  
  
Inu Yasha: stops and turns to Shippo ~twitch~ starts to chase Shippo with Tetssuiga DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!  
  
Shippo: EEK! Runs  
  
Miroku: Change that to a just plain mad puppy.  
  
Inu Yasha: stops and turns to Miroku ~twitch~ I'M NOT A PUPPY! starts to chase Miroku with Tetssuiga DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!!!!  
  
Ari: This is a vicious cycle.  
  
Inu Yasha: WHAT DID YOU SAY????????????  
  
Ari: Eep! Nothing ~cheesy smile~  
  
CUT  
  
SHIPPO ATTEMPT ONE:  
  
Shippo skips up to the machine (yes, skips) he picks up the microphone with a suspicious smile on his face.  
  
Shippo: in chipmunk voice Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! in extremely deep voice I'M TO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT TO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT SO SEXY IT HURTS!  
  
Kagome: ~twtich~  
  
Inu Yasha: ~twitch twitch~  
  
Shippo: I'M A MODEL YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND I DO MY TIME ON THE CATWALK!!!!!everyone is still in utter shock YEAH ON THE CATWALK now the crazed fox begins to shake his furry little but (which is actually just a giant tale)YEAH I DO MY THING ON THE CATWALK!!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!SEXY MY ASS!!!!!!  
  
Kagome: Damn, right you ass is sexy.  
  
Kikyo: HEY! HE'S MINE!  
  
Kagome: IS NOT!  
  
Kikyo: IS TOO!!!!  
  
Shippo: Ladies. Ladies. No need to fight over sexy me ;)  
  
Kagome and Kikyo: WE ARENT' TALKING TO YOU FREAK!!!  
  
Shippo: cries  
  
Kikyo: IS TOO!!!  
  
Kagome: IS NOT!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: Oh, I'm so loved ^.^  
  
Ari: WELL DUH! THE WHOLE SERIES FOCUSES ON YOU!  
  
Inu Yasha: That's cause I'm too sexy ;)  
  
Shippo: THEIF!!!Starts to kick IY who is not affected at all  
  
Inu Yasha: kicks Shippo off OK, who's next.  
MIROKU ATTEMPT ONE be afraid..be very afraid  
  
Miroku walks up to the machine with a sly smile. He looks around the confirm that no one is watching. Little does he know that EVERYONE is watching him through a 2 way mirror thing. He also doesn't know that we are taping this for our own amusement.  
  
Miroku: I'M A BARBIE GIRL IN THE BARBIE WORLD! LIFE IN PLASTIC! IT'S FANTASTIC!!!! Everyone is utterly shocked and frozen in shock. This is very shocking. Can u feel the shock? YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR UNDRESS ME EVERHWHERE LIFE IN PLASTIC IT'S FANTASTIC!!!!By now everyone is bursting in laughter. Shippo has literally died of laughter. Shippo is dead. Dead as a doornail. No one could be deader then Shippo at the moment.   
  
Sango : BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!THIS IS TOO PRICESLESS!!!!!KAGOME ARE YOU GETTING THIS????  
  
Kagome: is holding her camcorder Every sweet bit of this blackmail..  
  
Now something completely unexpected happens. Allen from Escaflowne randomly appears and starts to sing badly and dance badly to this utterly pathetic song with Miroku..  
  
Miroku and Allen: I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN THE BARBIE WORLD! LIFE IN PLASTIC! IT'S FANTASTIC they wink YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR, UNDRESS ME EVERYWHERE. Allen and Miroku now take off their clothes and are left in their underwear. Miroku is wearing green briefs and Allen is in a pink poka- dotted thong.. IMAGINATION MY LIFE IS YOUR CREATION!!!Miroku know realizes that his underpants are green briefs. These are not his underpants.THESE UNDERPANTS BELONG TO DILANDAU!!!  
  
Miroku: These undies aren't' mine.but their comfy.hey what's that white stain?  
  
This stupid authoress also forgets that underwear didn't exist in Feudal Japan (sweet)  
  
Green Underwear: Oopsie! Wrong person pops off Miroku and runs away TOODLES!  
  
Miroku: I WAS WEARING DILANDAU'S UNDERWEAR?????THAT MEANS DILANDAU DOESN'T HAVE HIS UNDERWEAR!!!  
  
Ari: WAIT? WHERE!!!! Looks around for underwear-less dilly-sama  
  
Sango: whacks her over the head with the boomerang bone  
  
Miroku suddenly realizes that he's standing there with no underwear and everyone is watching him. By now everyone is staring at Miroku laughing insanely  
  
Inu Yasha: HAHA! Well hello there "half-pint"  
  
Kagome: NO WONDER WOMEN KEEP TURNING YOU DOWN!!!!  
  
Sango: WELL IT LOOKS LIKE EVEN MIROKU HAS A "MINI" FRIEND!!!!  
  
Miroku: SHUT UP IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!! Turns his back to them  
  
Kikyo: HEY LOOK HE HAS A SMALL BUTT TOO!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
Allen: Does this thong look sexy on me???  
  
Everyone: anime fall  
  
SANGO ATTEMPT ONE:  
  
Sango walks up to the machine and has a mean look in her eyes  
  
Sango: ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GOING TO FIND YA!!! I'M GOING TO GET YA GET YA GET YA GET YA GET YA!!!!!  
  
Miroku: gulp  
  
Sango: ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GOING TO FIND YA! I'M GOING TO GET YA! GET YA! GET YA! GET YA!  
  
Miroku: starts to run from Sango who now starts to chase him  
  
Sango: now making her own lyrics ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA KILL YA I'M GONNA KILL YA KILL YA KILLYA KILL YA!!!!!  
  
Miroku: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!! I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sango: She finally catches Miroku and..starts to tickle him HA TAKE THAT! YOU CAN'T STAND MY TICKLE POWER!!!!!!!!  
  
Miroku: BWHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!NO!!!! NOT THERE!!!!!!!.. O.baby. Right there ;)  
  
Sango: whacks him over the head with the boomerang bone  
  
Miroku: cries  
  
Kagome: Now it's Seshy's turn..  
  
SESHOMARU ATTEMPT ONE:  
  
Seshomaru walks up to the microphone and he looks a bit afraid..  
  
Seshomaru: EVERYONE CAN SEE WE'RE TOGETHER AS WE ARE COMBINED!! AND WE FLY JUST LIKE BIRDS OF A FEATHER AND I TELL NO LIE!!! Inu Yasha and the rest of the crowd look very puzzled ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND US THEY SAY CAN THEY BE THAT CLOSE! JUST LET ME STATE FOR THE RECORD WE'RE GIVIN LOVE IN A FAMILY DOSE!!!  
  
Kikyo: Is he referring to you?  
  
Inu Yasha: I sure as hell hope not.  
  
Seshomaru: starts to disco dance WE ARE FAMILY! I GOT ALL MY SISTERS AND ME!! grabs IY and starts to dance with IY WE ARE FAMILY! GET UP EVERYBODY AND SING!!!!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!  
  
Seshomaru: Dear Brother! Cries I was trying to reach out to you. Hasn't the family therapy taught you anything?  
  
Inu Yasha: NO! I STILL HATE YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU!!!!  
  
Seshomaru: But you can't hate me because WE ARE FAMILY! I GOT ALL MY SISTERS AND ME!!!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: NEVER!  
  
Katia appears out of nowhere  
  
Katia: THAT'S MY LINE! kicks Inu Yasha in the knee and disappears  
  
Inu Yasha: hopping on one knee OUCHIES! THAT HUT!!! WAHHHHHHHH!!!! MAMA I GOT A BOO BOO!  
  
Kagome: Crybaby.  
  
Pause  
  
The authoresses are chatting.  
  
Tsuka: You know how come we haven't heard Shippo talk in a while?  
  
Katia: Yeah? Where is he!!  
  
Ari: You people are so dense. HE DIED REMEMBER! Refer to Miroku's first attempt.  
  
Katia and Tsuka: YOU KILLED OFF SHIPPO???  
  
Ari: Shut up and deal!  
  
Resume  
  
Inu Yasha: still hopping I'LL.KILL...YOU!!!!!!  
  
Seshomaru: still crying IF YOU WONT ACCEPT ME THEN FACE YOU DOOM!!!!!  
  
All of a sudden Inu Yasha is wearing ducky pajamas O_o  
  
Seshomaru: FEAR MY DUCKYS OF DOOM!!!!!!  
  
Pause  
  
Katia: Duckys of doom????  
  
Tsuka: What's up with that?  
  
Ari: SHUT UP AND STOP INTERUPTING!!!  
  
Resume  
  
Inu Yasha: NO NOT THE DUCKYS!!!!!!  
  
Pause  
  
Katia: Why Duckys?  
  
Ari: Argh!  
  
Resume  
  
Seshomaru: YES THE DUCKYS!!!!!  
  
Pause  
  
Katia: nyah nyah!  
  
Ari: THAT'S IT! Pulls out very, very, very, very, very, very, very, big bazooka and blows up Katia and Tsuka That's better.  
  
Resume for good  
  
Inu Yasha is randomly transported into a room with evil pudding of doom and evil duckys of doom  
  
Duckys: DESTROY!  
  
Pudding: DESTROY!  
  
Inu Yasha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Meanwhile back in the room with the karaoke machine  
  
Seshomaru: WE ARE FAMILY!!! THOUGH INUYASHA IS A REAL BABY!!!!!  
  
NARAKU ATTEMPT ONE  
  
Naraku is standing in the room with the machine. He snaps his fingers and is all of a sudden in very revealing Arabian clothes prepare to twitch  
  
Naraku: singing I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN LOCKED UP TIGHT FOR A CENTURY OF LONELY NIGHTS! WAITIN FOR SOMEONE TO RELEASE ME! Winks YOUR LICKIN YOUR LIPS AND BLOWIN KISSES MY WAY BUT THAT DON'T' MEAN I'M GONNA GIVE IT AWAY BABY, BABY, BABY!!! Starts to dance suggestively  
  
Sango: AHHH! ATTACK OF THE BELLY DANCER!!!  
  
Miroku: Sexy kinda ;)  
  
Sango: fwap  
  
Naraku: OH! OH! OH! MY BODY'S SAYIN LETS GO! OH! OH! OH! BUT MY HEART IS SAYIN NO!  
  
Meanwhile in the room with the Duckys and pudding  
  
Inu Yasha: is having tea with the Duckys and pudding So you say you were all hypnotized and are now beant on world domination?  
  
Ducky 1: Quack  
  
Ducky 2: Quack  
  
Ducky 3: Quack  
  
Ducky 4: Quack  
  
Ducky 5: Cock a doodle doo!  
  
Inu Yasha: Hey I love that song! It's from the Wiggles! Sings Captain Feather sword fell asleep on his pirate ship.  
  
Ari appears  
  
Ari: Ok your torture is over now come back  
  
Inu Yasha: But I like the Duckys and the pudding...it's chocolate ;)  
  
Ari: DEAL WITH IT!!  
  
Inu Yasha: while being transported back NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Now back with the machine  
  
Naraku: IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME BABY THERES A PRICE TO PAY I'M A GENIE IN A BOTTLE YOU GOTTA RUB ME THE RIGHT WAY! IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME I CAN MAKE YOUR WISH COME TRUE! YOU GOTTA MAKE A BIG IMPRESSION GOTTA LIKE WHAT U DO!!!! Is still belly dancing badly  
  
Inu Yasha: THE HORROR! THE HORROR!!!  
  
Naraku: How dare you! You insolent fool! Kills Inu Yasha  
  
Ari: HEY YOU CAN'T DO THAT! Revives Inu Yasha  
  
Pause  
  
Katia: How come you revived him but didn't revive us?  
  
Ari: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Brings out the very big bazooka again and kills Katia.yet again  
  
Resume  
  
Naraku: I CAN TOO!! Kills IY  
  
Ari: CANNOT!!! Revives IY  
  
Naraku: CAN TOO!!! Kills IY  
  
Ari: CANT NOT revives IY  
  
NARAKU: CAN.  
  
Inu Yasha: STOP!!!!! Kills Naraku  
  
Ari: HEY YOU CAN'T..  
  
Inu Yasha: DON'T YOU EVEN!  
  
Ari: shutting up..  
KIKYO ATTEMPT ONE  
  
Kikyo snaps her fingers and is in one of those cool 1920's sparkly dress thingies. She starts to sing  
  
Kikyo: COME ON BABE WHY DOH'T WE PAINT THE TOWN..AND ALL THAT JAZZ I'M GONNA ROUGE MY KNEES AND ROLL MY STOCKINS DOWN..AND ALL THAT JAZZ she is now dancing very very suggestively just like Velma in Chicago (it figures cause this song is sung by Velma in Chicago START THE CAR I KNOW A WHOPPE SPOT WHERE THE GIN IS COLD BUT THE PIANO'S HOT! IT'S JUST A NOISY HALL WHERE THERE'S A NIGHTLY BRAWL AND ALL..THAT..JAZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: is now drooling So.Sexy.  
  
Miroku: also drooling So.Incredibly.Sexy..  
  
Sango: Get a life whacks him over the head yet again  
  
Inu Yasha: is still drooling and is completely mesmerized with Kikyo  
  
Kagome: yanks at his hair HELLO?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME YOU RETARD!!  
  
Inu Yasha: I can't help it! She's just so sexy!!!  
  
Kagome: grrrrrrrrrrrrrr  
  
Kagome gets a genius idea. She puts on the same dress as Kikyo and goes to sing with Kikyo  
  
Kagome and Kikyo: FINE A FLASK WE'RE PLAYIN FAST AND LOOSE AND ALL THAT JAZZ RIGHT UP HERE IS WHERE I STORE THE JUICE AND ALL THAT JAZZ!!!!  
  
Miroku: SWEET! FREE SHOW!  
  
Sango: YOU PERV! Giant anvil falls from the sky and squashes Miroku  
  
Meanwhile Inu Yasha is still drooling over now 2 women singing and dancing suggestively.  
  
Inu Yasha: I..Think..I'm.In.Heaven sigh  
  
Kagome: Wait a second.. why are we trying to impress Inu Yasha  
  
Kikyo: I'm just singing but you're just jealous that IY thinks I'm sexy ;p  
  
Kagome: turns bright red Uhh.tee hee  
  
Inu Yasha: still drooling  
  
Kagome: WILL YOU STOP THAT!!!! Kicks him and he goes flying into the wall  
  
Inu Yasha: that.. wasn't.. necessary.  
  
Kagome: Oh, yes it was  
  
Kikyo: But you have to admit I am sexy  
  
Shippo: suddenly revived NOT AS SEXY AS ME! ;)  
  
All: EEK! THE LIVING DEAD! Everyone whacks Shippo over the head with a table  
  
Shippo: uggggg.nighty..night..  
Ari: Well that's the end and your all idiots!  
  
Miroku: I personally liked my choice of song humph  
  
Kagome: But we got to see something of yours that we shouldn't see.  
  
Sango: It was mostly too small for us to see.  
  
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!  
  
Miroku: NOT FUNNY!!!!  
  
Naraku: Well I think belly dancing suits me.  
  
Shippo: But I'm still the sexiest  
  
Inu Yasha No I'm sexier!  
  
Kikyo: NO I'm sexier!!  
  
Shippo: me!  
  
Inu Yasha: me!  
  
Kikyo: me!  
  
Ari: I'M THE SEXIEST YOU FOOL!!!!!! BOW DOWN TO MY SEXINESS!!!  
  
All: NEVER!!!  
  
Katia: That's my line!!!  
  
All: SHUT UP!! Kill Katia with the very big bazooka  
  
Ari: Just please review and don't' comment on their sexiness...-_- 


End file.
